Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
