If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
