My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
