elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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