He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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