The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize