If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
