careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
