I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize