i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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