So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
