he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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