And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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