only if we run a train.
done.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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