batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
