honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
