don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize