does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
