I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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