so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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