is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
