Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
