I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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