Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize