So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
