Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
