Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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