My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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