I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
