it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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