Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
