I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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