Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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