Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
