I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Are we still banned from the library?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
