I should be sponsored by Trojan
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
