I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
