I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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