I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I just sharted jello shots
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
