do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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