I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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