Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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