Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The Olympian is in my bed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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