i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
