halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
