New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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