you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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