You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
