can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
