So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
