youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
this is an emotional support booty call
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
