Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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