Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
