Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
