he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
