her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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