who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
