Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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